Life on hold . . . for now

28 Apr

I am finally getting around to some blog entries.  The intent has been there every single day.  And I most definitely have had things to share.  But sadly, due to one main thing (WORKING WAY TOO MANY HOURS), and the current state of my health and diet, it has just taken a back seat to sleep and meal preparation.

I will ramble on with some general updates.  Here is somewhat of a list:

* I did NOT attend Nourished in Chicago.  This broke my heart on so many levels.  I don’t think I have ever been so resentful of things like my health state, my job, other people who I feel were selfish & partially to blame for some of it (basically if I want to be a well adjusted adult about my feelings of resentment – I could just say I was feeling very upset due to circumstances).  But at the time, it was coming out as resentment.

As I was working overtime hours, and dealing with getting IV infusions of vitamins and minerals JUST to be able to stay awake & half alert in order to DO my job, I tried SO hard NOT to think about what I was missing – which was the Nourished Conference.

I look forward to living vicariously through those who did attend, by reading their updates, perusing the recaps on everyone’s blogs, and then finding myself another upcoming event that I can attend that will hopefully somewhat make up for missing Nourished.

* I met with a new health provider in Austin, TX. This is actually a pretty big deal.  I went in with no expectations since I have pretty much become totally skeptical of anything and everyone when it comes to health related issues in my life, and in general.  I am pleased to say that THIS doctor was awesome.  We spent over an hour with him, and he really DID “get it”.  I feel that I still have a long way to go before I can do the one thing I think is going to “fix” most everything – which is HEAL MY GUT.  But I have some hope now, and a trusted source/coach in my quest to combat what is going on here, & improve the quality of my life.

* I actually BEFORE meeting with my new doc, finally took the big step that I have been avoiding for an entire year.  I went grain-free.  I am still doing this for just over two months.  Knowing that in order to accomplish what I may need to do could involve me eating this way for at least two years (or possibly forever) is somewhat upsetting to me.  However if I can JUST know at some point that it really IS working, I won’t mind a bit.  I want so badly to feel better.  I want to be able to eat more than a small list of very specific things.  I am not asking for the moon here.  I would like the option of balancing my blood sugar easily, and with plant based forms of protein again.  I would like to be able to enjoy a hemp based  smoothie, or a gluten free/vegan pizza.  That’s really all.  And more than anything I want to some day be able to feel comfortable that what I am putting in my mouth is NOT going to cause some horrible reaction, or damage a part of my body that ultimately will jack up my hormones, and make me literally a crazy person for an undetermined amount of time.  THAT is what I want.  So if it means being grain-free, then I’ll do it.

* I am finally seriously looking into different ways to complete my education.  This may mean working Part Time.  I’ve tried to complete schooling multiple times ; with work always getting in the way.  Technically it was my health initially.  But then as an adult student, it was my work, which in turn caused the decline of my health, and thus kept me from being able to pursue the completion of a degree while working a full time job.

* I am making a vow to blog more often, dedicate time to reaching out to a community of folks that could enlighten me.  I have been battling this food intolerance nonsense for long enough in my own head.  It is time that I join the ranks of others who have opted to form alliances in public in the online community.  At one time I was very hesitant of the idea of sharing ; simply because it is MY problem, and something that it does seem many folks do not want to hear about.  But the more I read every single day, the more people I see who are experiencing the same things that I am.  I feel blessed to have already found so many people online , who have guided me without even knowing it just by posting blog entries, recipes, links, references, etc.

I am looking forward to this transition into a more regular Feud With Food blogging behavior.  Until next time….

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